drive by in your white stuff as if you were innocent while 20 meters before we would meet sth makes my bike heavier so I must walk to watch "U" bike by
what is this life ? a neverending story of surprise traps or fake appearance to torture me ? just when I get a feeling of freedom and lightheartedness again - how I'ld had loved it to remain ! - association is enough to reset start or just a bluff ? sure you´re not here then just appear can I ever be free or am I doomed to this mean game forced to lose time after time another pair of eyes were they yours ? forever not recognize ? did you drink a cup of coffee ? and did you then recognize me ? can I ever be free of mental weird captivity that plays with me ? cause as 'a ghost' I´m said to be noone can see the pain in me cause of the ghosts that play with me are to amused to set me free no wishes dare and thinking scare
after 01/21nd hurting invisible sex makes me bleed for four more days, then a chicken egg-sized cyst 01/24th to 25th beautiful sexual healing energy streams through my body
predict next your with Elisabetta you know ? they`ve taken it all away though I can feel sth is it with her now ? disgusted the meanest plot was my life used everybody won at my cost or inspired me merely gettin through trapped robbed out sorted out for their lies and intrigues Yes, Sir don´t want to dance no more scared to end in a swiss looney bin - recent nightmare rather die in despair (to funny) cowards i am all alone
every thaught say impertinent any action say worst back in the 'crushade' called my life my moves doomed redundant, motivation perverted or waste, some sensed before : double pain
theothernight a guy came down the street w/ 2 and from 50 meters I stared at his invisible legs just to see if they were or not when I looked at 'your' face 'your' sight hit the ground my 'hey' didn´t come out just like the other night always thinking I know where you are, caus there´s more destruction & humiliation left over than there´s normal
their childish sence of humour squashes my life exhausted & sucked dry by sadistical invisivble 'sactions'
i am innocent how could you ever be so mean i remain a mantle for love is hate i´ll be tortured to death not a person cares
+++++++++++++++++++++
Fun is : listening to nettlers of small rubber boat intelligence reconsidering their sencerity
4/27/11
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Today I remembered I think you said 'I want a son' which implies that a daughter wouldn´t be as welcome that´s unbearable for me I´ve been discriminated for this reason in my family (& my life´s gone down the drain with less attention, support & love) I´m pretty sure that´s what tipped the scales
4/24/11
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Hearin 'something' somewhere pretty close
don´t you think it´s easy to fake an orgasm when she exactly knows what you´re expecting to hear ? & when parts of our bodies can be taken & flown away ? (copied or exchanged)
what´s love gotta do with it? when men are after success no matter what unpayable, unbearable price other people have to pay for it ?
"love is hate, no is yes" and i´m anything but free just a used simple human, me
02.04.2011
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'out here ... we are stoned immaculate'
down here we are raped & fucked invisibly
++++++++++++++++++++++
Real Dementors fuck you invisible to take your orgasms and their energy away
they fuck all your body any time any place to squash you psychologically
you remain a fucking-case while your life´s connections are getting stolen, perverted or foreclosed
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you cannot put the blame for not growing on the plant you covered w/ concrete
just gotta wait patiently for only one hundred years
you cannot put the blame for not knowing on the man you covered w/ intrigues
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
not a new concept at all that innocent female have to suffer for male war and for those female who did "catch up" w/ male rules
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very, very old stuff from the late 80th
from 87 or 88, jet actual to whom it may concern
"Gottsamer Mensch in dem All mit der Erde"
Ach, ist die Welt doch heute schön als ich in dieses Feuer seh´ das kleinste Etwas ist in Gang als ich mich mit der Erde dreh´.
Wir lagern winzig dort - im All ein bräunlich-blaues Körnchen auf uns hier gibt es freien Fall wir können gleiten doch nicht kleben und machen für des Körnchens All hochtrabende Gesetze.
Wir breiten sie als Netz um uns vieltausend schwache Fäden wie geometrische Figuren und Endloszahlensätze. Wir denken sie in einem Schema aus ein-plus-eins-mach-zwei. Und in dem Netz dort krallen wir entwirren dürfen wir uns nicht das sagt uns klar unser Verstand und Gott hält eine Hand. - Derweil wir ständig göttlich hangeln zwischen Gefühlen und Vernunft zwischen dem Hoffen und dem Bangen zwischen Glauben oder Rechnen zwischen Spinnen und Vernetzen gehorchen wir den Netzgesetzen und finden ständig neu Gesetze die wir dann weiter miteinweben und selbst uns ganz noch spinnen ein.
Glaubst im Himmel doch zu sein dabei ist´s nur Quadrantenglotzen.
Du lügst Dich selber in Dich rein. - Und wagst auch noch zu motzen !
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Imagine, I could be shure
you won´t disown me now
like you must be shure I disowned you
won´t be much fun for my enemies
those cowards
11.01.2011
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Destintuition (so sorry)
Sometimes, when you end up frustrated, humiliated & drunk at the end of the night on a railwaystation, and a voice tells you to rest for an hour in the broom closet, risking to fall asleep and get locked in : follow your intuition
Sometimes, when you end up in front of your house door at the end of a holiday, you never want to miss out, even if hell freezes, and you wish your key won´t fit, so you could turn around and fly back to where you came from : follow your intuition
And if a misterious stranger invites you out & you only think of meeting someone else, what the heck, if you follow your intuition ?
Nehmen Sie Ihre eigenen Kinder oder sonst irgendwelche zur Hülfe !
Die Läuse im Wurzelholzmörser zerstoßen und kurz frittieren. Den Dreijährigen die getrocknete Baby- kacke hacken lassen. Die frisch gerissenen Spinnenbeine gefrier-trocknen, mit den Läusen und dem Gehackten unter die Buttermilch rühren - soll auch der Dreijährige machen. Die Staubflöckchen sachte zu einer Handvoll aufschlagen. Den Kohlenstaub zu einem festen zähen Schlamm kneten (soll der Zweijährige machen). Den Schlamm über vogelförmige Förmchen strecken und schiebzig Stunden schwach über Safranrauch schwelen lassen. !!! Die Schlammportionen nicht gerade großzügig bemessen, spontan entstehende Risse und Löcher nicht stopfen, so dass die Plätzchen mög-lichst gruselig aussehen !!
Wenn Schwel-Kekse kalt, behutsam löffelchenweise den Pudding draufkriechen lassen.
Alle kleinen Kinder müssen das fiese Zeug mit den winzigen dunkelblauviolettmetallicfarbenen Kügelchen beschmeißen.
!Auf keinen Fall kosten !
Unverzüglich Sprengung anordnen !
Während des Vorgangs Kühlschrank möglichst geschlossen halten und auf ein weites Feld stellen.
