name of ya book that will never be written: The remote-controlled invisible cunt-implementation or if you think you can choose an independent life you´ll experience that your body will be occupied anyway by monsters that look like angels
maybe in some decades one day when you´re old and bored, you´ll find the time to listen to the story of my life and you´ll find out, that you were a brilliant arsehole
someone said 'he' was somewhere invisible appointment play disappoint & guilt the "adorers of shame" - if it only was talk
9/25/2011
...............................................
everyday stealing my dreams sleeping with open window or closed "it´s always the same with you" (bored shape-shifter-wanker, shut up or leave) turn around cigarette smoke in my nose turn around furniture banging next room from fucking people try to turn around she starts screamin make a sleeping tea to come to a natural end of my dream stolen everyday "only" the first distortion of the day
two days ago weekendshopping "Matryoshka makin problems" coloured sister drops walkin by I M the troublemaker, sure go on play hide & seek where is my winwin u don´t feel what I feel
- I go for a walk. - well, but i don´t want you to. So i make your foot hurt. YOU don´t walk anymore. - I want to swim. - well, but I don´t want you to swim. So i make your wrist hurt. YOU don´t go for a swim today. - I want to masturbate. - well, ... . . .
they keep on playin U like two days ago a car passing by driving into town in your very colour as if I couldn´t differ a sportster from a limousine with one sight
its hard to remember your gold when your treated like shit
they extract & use all your good ideas for years & when you give in frustrated they say: uuh, look what a lazy bum you are
they spread lies and defame your persona & when everybody´s been leaving they say: ask yourself what you did wrong
they steal your things & stalk your home & when you lock yourself in they say: see how paranoid you are
they use you as scape-goat for all the shit they are doing & when you end up crying yourself into sleep & when you wake up in the morning for years they say: look at your tear sacs, granny
they creep under your skin & when it resisting turns blotty they say: uuh, look how ugly you are
I grant fame to everybody but not at the cost of my life
Who were you sleeping with when i felt you in the night of Christmas Eve ?
Whos body am i connected with?
My sister's, mother's, my brother's wife's ?
How can I win against witches & shape-shifters ?
How do I get back my life ?
How can I win back your love as a simple human ?
Don't want to be your foe, my love letting you down feeling trapped in a mean exhausting game don't want to be a puppet
Am low on possibility (energy, money, ideas) & confidence
They are all together working against me telling us lies & trapping me out they're reading my mind since years am used for their purpos of fame my name's first my name
I am alive & frustrated
they messed with my browser, too like setting responses for waste don't seem to get hold of them
please, stop collaborating with my mean family
amnesia out of 88'th-return-trauma seems planned to me now my only sin was I wanted to become teacher
no reason to fool with nor vengance
it can't be a sin to be poor in this land but it seems to condemn my struggle to loss
like turning this lyrical site into rough prose
P.S.: My neighbour is going mad (or old)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have seen one shape-shifter
with my own eyes
Imagine
you had two or more of them
in your own family
++++++++++++++++++++++
Whom
did you hold in your arms
when I felt you ?
Who said
„but you know,
she don´t love you?“
before peace
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Short words of Love
piep, no piep
You hold my head
in you hand
when we lay down
(we print paths on our backs
and the powder´s for you)
When I lose my breath
in the ocean of love
your kiss
brings me back
to live
in your arms
& your music
makes me sway
Years later
you gently lift my chin
with one finger
say: remember your name
was it you, after all?
--------------------------------------
i wish i could say that it´s all not my fault like i used to when i was a child and i suppose
The 22 of October 1996 I was led to the town office where you and your folks were, too, but neither expected nor recognized you. This is the truth. I expected s.o. else there, felt trapped and went mad at the situation. I tried to kill myself later the same day.
